Tuesday, 13 September 2011


'Resting' Play List:  Psychedelic Furs ~ Pretty in Pink

I take no credit for this fab photo..I found it during a Google image search! 
Hope...a hard emotion to keep going, when you are going through life's trials, isn't it? Well just lately my 'hope' has been running on fumes. During those dark moments when you realise that your life is never going to be the way you hoped it would be...and/or the crowded busy moments, when everyone around you is watching for signs that you have finally given up. You see that image of the candle light, at the end of 'that' tunnel is slowly getting smaller and smaller. Your once burning flame from your childhood and young adult life is almost a shimmer in the distance. It's a cruel realisation...

It's all too easy for other people around you to bombard you with platitudes and positive thoughts...but in all honesty I think that only makes them feel better and you feel worse. Not only are you struggling to keep a grip on your hope..you are then left trying to hold on to your temper! Or is that just me? lol.  

No one can help you hold on to your hope...it is a battle you have to face alone. It's not always easy...down right hard sometimes. But I believe you have to 'hold on' to it...and I don't mean that blind deluded thought process that "...everything will be just fine and dandy!" People like that almost always have that glint in their eye...that slight edge of madness...lol. 

I believe that when all hope is lost...there is no way back. It's easy to wallow in the Why Me's? To stay stuck in the past, a place where your hope was fresh and new.  It feels safer there, no? But it's not. And sooner or later you have to face what's coming and try with all your strength to keep hold of your hope. Not easy...believe me. 

So how do I hold on to mine? With great difficulty some days...but I don't fool myself that everything is going to be ok...or more importantly...how I had hoped it would turn out. I've learnt over the last few years that long term planning is more often that not, for me...completely useless. I do believe that the things that have happened in your past...should stay there and not be dragged up at every emotional wobble...I guess the biggest lesson I've learnt is the importance to live in the present. Hope is more easily achieved on a daily basis...for me anyway. 

Daily hopes are simple...be well enough to move...be able to enjoy kitchen time...write...see my loved ones...laugh alot...and to love and be loved by My Love...(thats a lot of loves lol)..write and create my blog and generally participate in my day. 

I have to keep it this simple right now...but I do look forward to a day when I am free to long term hope...lol. I found a quote recently that perfectly reflects my feelings on this matter..

Life my not be the party we hoped for....but while we are here...we should dance! - unknown

It took me a long time to appreciate simple words like the above...but I do now. And I sure as hell intend to dance...literally or so be it in my imagination...like when I'm on 'rest' and I hear Pretty in Pink come on the music channels..a small spark is lit from a memory nearly 25 years old. lol. I remember how much fun I had dancing to this tune and living in that moment...it reminds me to do that now...hold on to my hope...hold on to life...and never give up. 

OK enough with the rambling musings from my mind...lol...I promise recipes and food related blogs will be back as soon as possible! 

Hope you are all having a great week...and if not...Hold on..